Traditions

If a picture paints a thousand words,
Then why can’t I paint you?
The words will never show the you I’ve come to know.
If a face could launch a thousand ships…

Wedding Traditions and Customs

Marriage remains a popular way of cementing a relationship the world over. Here are a few from country to country and from a religious perspective.

Christian

At Christian weddings, the families of the bride and groom sit on opposite sides of the aisle, which is usually covered by a white runner that extends to the altar. After the bride and groom’s grandparents, the groom’s parents and the bride’s mother are seated, the groom enters accompanied by the priest or minister, usually from stage right. The groomsmen may also enter at this time, though depending on family customs, may instead escort the bridesmaids as they walk down the aisle. The flower girl and ring bearer follow them.

When the bride and her father enter, the bride’s mother will often rise as a signal for the guests to rise as well. Other times, the officiant will request that “All rise for the bride.” Once all are gathered on the wedding platform, the guests take their seats and the bride and groom turn to face one another. After the wedding vows are read, rings are exchanged and a unity lamp ceremony is performed. The bride and groom hold small tapered candles and simultaneously light a larger unity candle, which represents their joining together as a stronger, single unit. Prior to lighting the unity candle, the minister reads what’s known as The Charge, which contains the tenets of forging a strong marriage. At this time the betrothed couple extinguishes the smaller, individual candles, a call to worship is announced and they are officially pronounced husband and wife.

African

Although there are a large number of different variations on this continent, these are a few customs and traditions commonly found in many African subcultures.

Purple and gold (the colours of African royalty) are common at many African weddings. You’re also likely to see jewellery and seashells decorations representing beauty according to African lore.

Before the wedding ceremony, a smaller ceremony is held in which elders are honoured, along with prayers in memory of those who’ve since departed. The groom will seek permission from the bride’s mother to marry her daughter and offer gifts to her father to symbolise his ability to support his new bride financially.

The couple’s hands may be bound together with long blades of grass or a vine whilst walking down the aisle or just holding hands. During the wedding ceremony the bride and groom might also taste four foods, typically a lemon (sour), honey (sweet), cayenne pepper (hot) and vinegar (bitter) These represent the phases of marriage and in life. It is not unusual for drums to accompany the couple before, during and after the wedding ceremony.

Colours also have much meaning at Moroccan weddings and it’s not unusual to have ‘yellow weddings’ to scare away evil spirits or ‘green weddings’ which portend a marriage filled with luck. Additionally, bridesmaids can paint designs on the bride’s hands and feet with henna. At the end of a Moroccan wedding it’s traditional to shower the newlyweds with figs and raisins, and when bride arrives at her new home, she’ll circle it three times to symbolically claim it as a home of her own.

Chinese

Chinese weddings are full of colourful customs which begin with the groom performing stunts or tricks, suggested by the bridesmaids, to prove his worthiness to his bride. Once satisfied, the groom often hands out red envelopes filled with cash to the bridesmaids thus ensuring their approval. At this time, the bride arrives at the groom’s home to the sound of gongs and firecrackers and often jumps over a small pile of burning coals to ward off evil spirits.

Wedding dates are determined by the couple’s astrological signs and birthdays, with the ceremony beginning on the half-hour as a measure of prosperity. Those held outdoors are often include paper parasols and painted silk fans. A tea ceremony in which the bride, often with the groom, serve tea to her new in-laws. The Chinese character xi, which represents double happiness, and the colour red, representing prosperity, are visible everywhere as signs of a happy and prosperous future.

During the day or evening the bride will change into a different outfits for the ceremonies, the reception, and farewell sendoff of the guests. Included in the accessories is a bridal headpiece – crown consisting of kingfisher feathers, pearls and a red veil. The groom typically wears a blue dragon robe, a black silk coat and black headpiece with red tassels.

The wedding cake consists of multiple layers and a small ladder representing the couple’s joint climb to success

Dutch Traditions & Customs

The bridal shower, which is a common Western custom, originated in Holland and typically took place when the bride’s father rejected the bride-to-be’s choice of husband, and would withhold the bride’s dowry. In place of a wedding dowry, the bride’s friends would throw a party and shower the bride-to-be with enough gifts to help the newlyweds start a new life together.

Another wonderful Dutch tradition is the “wedding wish tree,” in which paper leaves are signed by the attendees along with personal messages, and are attached to a branch next to the bride and groom’s table in place of a guest book.

Before the actual ceremony, it’s common at Dutch weddings for the bridesmaids to fill the bride’s basket with green garlands and flowers and the groom’s pipe with ribbons. The color green is full of symbolism in Dutch culture, and as such it’s not unusual to paint the bride’s home green and decorate it inside and out with pine trees and branches, and have the couple sit on thrones while greeting guests who stop by with wishes of happiness.

At the ceremony, the couple walks down an aisle covered with flowers, and flowers are tossed at them after the ceremony as they leave. In the same spirit, the couple often plants lilies of the valley around their home to symbolize a happiness that, like flowers, is renewed every year.

Japanese

Mostly based on national tradition, they invariably incorporate Shinto, Christian or Buddhist traditions into the ceremony, and takes place at a family shrine or where the ceremony and reception takes place.

With the Western custom of exchanging rings becoming more popular over the years, one custom which invariably used is called San-san-ku-do. This is when the couple take three sips of sake from three separate cups: a small cup, medium cup and larger cup, in that order.

Japanese brides often wear a headpiece called a tsuno-kakushi, or ‘horn cover’, which is a veil that hides the bride’s ‘horns of jealousy’, and the groom a long kimono-like over-garment.

For traditional Shinto weddings, the ceremony is often lead by a Shinto priest or priestess, and confined to the immediate families of the bride and groom together with the couple’s matchmakers, also known as ‘go-betweens’. As well as the three-cup tsuno-kakushi ceremony, the bride, groom and go-betweens each place sprigs from the sacred sakaki tree onto a small altar as offerings to the deities.

Irish Traditions & Customs

Lavender is a popular color at Irish weddings and is often the prevalent color of the bride’s bouquet as well as the floral wreaths she wears on her head as she is walked down the aisle. She will often have a horseshoe tied to her bouquet—pointing up for good luck.

Getting married on a sunny day is also considered a sign of good luck, and to better ensure the sun will shine on the big day, it’s not uncommon to place a statue of the Infant of Prague outside the church where the wedding will take place. Irish wedding bands—called claddagh—depict two hands holding a heart bearing a crown, symbolizing faith, honor and love.

During the ceremony the bride will often carry a handkerchief stitched in a way that allows it to be turned into a baby’s christening bonnet, and back into a handkerchief for the baby’s future wedding day. As a means of keeping evil spirits at bay, tiny bells can often be heard ringing, especially during toasts in place of clinking glasses. Lastly, as a measure of good luck, somebody inevitably throws a shoe over the bride’s head as she leaves the church, taking care to aim high.

Other Celtic customs and traditions include harpists as the prime musical attractions, and an intertwined series of threads called a “love knot,”which symbolize eternity, unity and fidelity. The wedding cake is usually a three-layered, whiskey-laced fruitcake with almond paste. Don’t be surprised to see shamrocks and four-leaf clovers used extensively in the decorations.

Korean

Following the formal wedding ceremony, an important part of Korean wedding ceremonies is the Paebaek Ceremony. According to custom, a wedding isn’t just about the bride and groom, it is also about the families of both newlyweds. During the Paebaek ceremony, the newlyweds don traditional Korean ceremonial attire called hanbak, then come together with their respective parents and close family members. Blessings are then bestowed upon them both and tea is served with other delicacies, including rice wine.

The ceremony concludes with the bride trying to catch dates and chestnuts in her skirt. With the dates representing girls and the chestnuts boys, according to legend each date and chestnut she catches represents a child in their future. The dates and chestnuts are then eaten by the couple during the evening.

Indian

Indian weddings are often over three days. The first portion of the wedding ceremonies is the pre-wedding occurs the day and evening before the wedding day, when the families gather to meet, eat and dance, and is all about preparing for the big day and the days that follow. The wedding day, selected according to the astrological signs of the bride and groom, is marked by numerous customs including the mehndi, at which the bride’s hands and feet are decorated with temporary henna designs. Garlands of flowers are bestowed upon honoured guests and flower petals are scattered during the course of the wedding day. The bride’s mother, having built the wedding altar, greets the groom, who has his feet washed and is offered milk and honey. The bride’s sister will attempt to steal the grooms shoes and If successful he has to buy them back.

Teeming with colourful customs, Indian ceremonies include the tying of the bride’s sari to the groom’s scarf which represents their union as a couple. Family elders will tie a cord around the couples necks to ward off evil spirits. In place of rings, a mangala sutra (a cord with two gold pendants), is tied in three knots around the bride’s neck simbolising a marriage that should last 100 years. The Saptapadi ceremony, sees the groom helping his bride touch seven betel nuts with her toe while they recite seven vows and is followed by the whispering of blessings into the bride’s ear by seven married women. The bride is then carried out by her brothers.

Other Indian customs include the mangal pheras, in which the newlyweds circle a sacred fire four times and then rush back to their seats. The aeki beki, in which a tray is filled with water, milk and vermillion and contains coins and a ring. Whoever of the newlyweds finds the ring four times out of seven is declared the winner and the official head of the household.

Italian Traditions & Customs

Saturday is the best day to get married, according to Italian tradition. In Italy, the colors and flowers of the bridal bouquet are chosen by the groom and are hand-delivered to the bride by the groom. Along the way to the church, the soon-to-be newlyweds are teased with falling brooms, crying babies and other domestic realities to test their homemaking skills as they proceed. To fend off evil eyes, the groom always carries a trinket of sorts made of iron, and it’s considered good luck for all of the men attending the wedding to kiss the bride.

During the reception, toasts abound, and the bride carries a satin pouch to hold envelopes of cash that guests offer her for the privilege of dancing with the new bride. It’s also traditional for the groom to cut his tie into small pieces, which he sells to willing guests in order to pay for the musicians. You might also see small bags containing five to seven pieces of candy-coated Jordan almonds, representing the bittersweet aspects of any marriage, which are given out to guests.

A dance tradition at Italian weddings is the tarantella, or the spider dance, which contains many quick movements of the hands. Finally, at the end of the wedding reception, the couple shatters a vase or glass, with the goal of breaking it into as many pieces as possible. Each piece represents a year of happiness for the newlyweds.

Jewish

According to custom and tradition, the actual wedding ceremony takes place at the signing of the katubah, the marriage contract. After this has been signed by witnesses, the mothers of the bride and groom come together holding a dish wrapped in a towel, and smash it on the table thus sealing the deal. This act expresses the sentiment that just as a broken dish can never again be united as a single entity, the marriage of their children should only know unity.

Center stage of a Jewish wedding is the chuppah, a canopy-like structure adorned with flowers, lace and white fabric and supported by four poles and open on top to allow those standing beneath it to be under open skies. The sky must always be visible, even for indoor weddings, through the use of a sliding panel in the roof or an open skylight.

The ceremony procession begins with the groom being escorted down the aisle by his parents, or by his father and the bride’s father for Orthodox weddings. Having ascends the steps to the chuppah, the grooms father helps him put on a kittle, a white cotton cloak garment.

This is followed by grandparents, siblings, best men and bridesmaids. The bride is finally escorted down the aisle by her parents, or by her mother and the groom’s mother for Orthodox weddings. The groom descends and escorts his bride the final few steps to where the rabbi will perform the ceremony.

At this time the couples mothers escort the bride as she slowly circles the groom seven times. During the ceremony, seven guests are invited to the chuppah to bestow shevah brachot a total of seven blessings on the couple. Wine is then shared from a goblet, rings exchanged and the ceremony concluding with the groom smashing a wrapped glass under his shoe, a solemn reminder of the destruction of King David’s temple in Jerusalem almost 2000 years ago.

Vietnamese Traditions & Customs

Vietnamese weddings are chock-a-block with traditions, starting with the time and place, which is usually determined by a Buddhist monk. Among the many ceremonies that make up the day are the bride’s mother-in-law placing pink chalk on the bride (for a rosy future), a ceremony in which the groom seeks permission to take the bride as his own, the procession to receive the bride, a procession to the groom’s home, followed by a ceremony for the bride and groom’s ancestors, followed by the reception.

The morning of the big day the groom’s mother brings gifts to the bride’s home, followed by a procession of the groom and his family to receive the bride, taking with them fancy lacquered boxes covered in red cloth containing gifts for the bride’s family. These lacquered boxes are opened at the candle ceremony, which occurs after paying respects to the bride and groom’s ancestors, and a ceremonial tea service in which the newlyweds serve tea to their parents while receiving matrimonial advice from them.

After the ceremonies, a seven-to-ten course feast is served. The newlyweds make a point of stopping at each table to greet and thank guests for sharing their special day. During the course of the abovementioned events, the bride will usually wear one or two Western-style gowns or dresses, finally ending up wearing a traditional Vietnamese ao dai gown.

Other wedding traditions include the following:

• In Switzerland, the bride wears a crown or wreath, which represents her maidenhood. After the wedding ceremony, the wreath is burned, and the quicker it incinerates, the luckier the couple shall be.
• An old Portuguese tradition is for the bride to pretend to be a cow and see if the groom can recognize her in a herd, but as you’d imagine, this practice has been put out to pasture.
• In Belgium, the bridesmaids traditionally collect coins from guests, which are given to poor onlookers as the couple leaves the church, as a sign of charity and to better ensure a prosperous future for the newlyweds.
• The tradition of tying shoes to the back of the newlywed’s car began in England, replacing the original custom of throwing shoes at the couple as they left the church.
• The custom of carrying one’s bride across the threshold of their home began more than 700 years ago in Scotland and has its roots in the belief that evil spirits that live at the entrance to the home can enter the bride through the bottoms of her feet.
• At German wedding ceremonies, the groom sometimes kneels on the bride’s wedding gown to symbolize who is in charge of the household. Afterwards the bride will inevitably step on the groom’s shoe to set the record straight on the matter.